FanHouse

Just in case you thought the Europeans needed another advantage in the upcoming Ryder Cup, good news, they got it. Thanks to trusty Jack Nicklaus, they can hang this article above their lockers in Valhalla for a little extra motivation.

The President Cup captain said that he thinks the Americans will win the Ryder Cup easily, even without Tiger Woods.

"Even without Tiger, (the Americans) should win easily".

The 18-time major winner, twice a Ryder Cup captain, told Golf Digest: "I just believe we have better players.

"I think American golf is better than perceptions based on recent Ryder Cup results."

You know, all this is true. The American golfers are better than most of the world probably thinks and just because we choke like Pierce Brosnan in "Mrs. Doubtfire" when the Ryder Cup rolls around doesn't mean they can't play. It just means they aren't good Ryder Cupers. Big difference.

Here's the latest video from UFC President Dana White, chronicling his preparation for UFC 88:

The most interesting part of the video is when Rashad Evans talks to White about his thoughts on fighting Chuck Liddell in the main event.

"Chuck has good range, very accurate punching, but I'm not afraid of his power," Evans said. "I'm not afraid to be hit, I'm not afraid to exchange."

Between Evans saying he's not afraid to exchange and Liddell saying he plans on striking, this promises to be an explosive fight. I think Liddell's superior striking will be the difference.

FanHouse's Tom Ziller argues his ranking of the top 50 players in the NBA.

Shawn Marion, he of simply otherworldly skills and a painfully shy persona, has landed outside Phoenix. That's old news, sort of: we saw him play about a month in Miami. It wasn't really real basketball. It counted in the books, but not in our hearts.

We've seen Matrix play a million minutes though, as Phoenix's undersung axle all those years, through Starbury and Steve Nash. Endless rebounds, steals like wine at a wedding in Yountville, that giggly threeball from the wing. He's been like a bottle of chloroform to the traditional worldview of a small forward, forcing us to expect more than just range, size and skills. Marion makes us dream of a League of LeBrons.

But now, with Nash so far away, has the feature film ended? Is Marion on the fast track to disappointment in Miami, and where ever he lands next summer? Let us peer into the mime's eye.

Lots of things have threatened the MOST AMERICAN SPORT OF THEM ALL lately -- steroids, Bud Selig discussing steroids, Roger Clemens taking steroids, and steroids. Also, HGH, kind of.

But nothing is more dangerous to our nation's official pastime than the random wanderings of a squirrel in left-center field. Oh, you think that sounds innocent and cute, but that fur-covered weapon is two full pounds of unrestrained fury:



Look at him ducking! Look at his evasive manuevers! This squirrel is trained in the finest of fake-government-agent acting techniques. Tom Cruise would be proud. But let's just pray he's on our side.

When you're famous, anything goes, and that includes hitting females with a fake penis while moseying around the business district in Melbourne.

Australian Football Player Brendon Fevola, obviously wired with a different style of humor than me and my friends, was just walking around Fed Square in Melbourne, Australia on Monday wearing pink lingerie and a sex toy strapped around his waist. You know, for the fans.

Carlton AFL star Brendan Fevola has escaped without even a slap on the wrist after he flung a fake penis at women near Melbourne's CBD yesterday. Police spokeswoman Mia Paterson said they were not investigating the incident because no one had issued a complaint.

"Fev had a foot-long dildo hanging out of his pink muu-muu in full public view outside the bar," said a witness who asked not to be named. "I saw him hit a couple of girls on the head with it. It was a bit off-putting."

Ah yes, in years to come, when robots take over the planet Earth and we are all subjected to slavery, the conversations will turn to the good old days when we could just roam the streets hitting girls with dildos. These acts will never die in our hearts.

Lucky for everyone still reading this story, there is actually a short video of the event someone captured on their cell phone. This is the first time I've ever been excited cell phones have the video feature. It is after the jump, and be warned, it is NSFW (or Thanksgiving dinner).

You've got questions. I've got answers. If not, I'll make them up. Each Thursday at 1 p.m. EST, I answer your queries on all things related to the NFL. If you have a question, send it over to NFLMailbag@aol.com. Don't forget to include your name and location. Click here for the archives. Rock'n'roll.

I know that this feature is slated to run on Thursdays, thus making this a day late. The Thursday season opener threw things off this week, but the mailbag will be running every Thursday from here on out. I wasn't hung over and I didn't forget. OK, I was a little hung over. Anyways ...

Was it a good move for the Carolina Panthers to dump Brett Basanez, a QB who'd been with the team for some time, knew the offense, and was relatively young with some upside, and instead bring in Josh McCown, who very well may be a decent backup but shouldn't be starting in this league, whereas Basanez possibly could have one day been a starter?
- SoulCitySigma1914, Greensboro, NC

Basanez did make a solid impression entering this year after two years mostly on the Panthers' practice squad, enough that a few teams gave him a look when the Panthers released him. That being said, the Panthers have a "project" quarterback that they like in Matt Moore, and they want to win now. Jake Delhomme is no sure thing, performance- or health-wise, so the Panthers probably wanted a backup with game experience who could come in if needed without disturbing too much. Basanez isn't that guy. Neither is Moore. Plus, I have to say, I've always liked McCown. Though four teams disagree. But what do they know? One of them was the Raiders ...

The internet is full of creepy, seedy, sexual predators. There's so many out there that Chris Hansen just can't stop them all by himself, no matter how hard he might try. In the day and age of 40-year-old men picking up 13-year-old girls on the internet, the authorities are turning to the only person capable of stopping such a menace: Mr. Met.

Advocates trying to warn kids about the threat of online sexual predators trolling the Internet have a new ally - Mr. Met.

The mascot has been recruited to get the word out at the first-ever Internet Safety Day at Shea Stadium. The event kicks off before the 3:30 p.m. home game against the Philadelphia Phillies on Saturday.

The program is part of a two-year, federally funded project by a task force from the U.S. Attorney in Brooklyn, with help from the Queens District Attorney's office and sponsor Time Warner Cable.

All kidding aside, this is actually a pretty good idea. As part of Internet Safety Day, the Mets are doing things like putting up scoreboard quizzes and handing out baseball cards with online safety tips for kids. It's unclear what the role of Mr. Met will be in all this, but I personally hope they deck him out in a pedo-stache and have him drive around the stadium in a bullpen car with "Free Candy" painted on the side of it to show kids just who they're giving their address out to online. Or, you know, just pass out the cards.

Buffalo Bills left tackle Jason Peters, who skipped all of the off-season, training camp and the preseason in a contract dispute, has finally decided to report to Buffalo -- without a new contract in hand.

Adam Schefter of NFL Network reports that Peters informed the Bills on Friday that he plans to end his holdout and report to the team Saturday.

The Bills' first game is against the Seahawks on Sunday, and the team has already decided that Peters won't play. He likely will play a week later at Jacksonville.

Schefter reports that while Peters hasn't gotten the new contract he wants, he and the team have agreed that they'll keep contract talks open during the season. Still, the team is in no hurry to get a deal done -- he has three years left on his current deal.

If you have eight Olympic Golds, millions of dollars and you could just spend the rest of your life swimming metaphorical laps, what are you interested in? (Yes, you are Michael Phelps.) How about Playboy Playmates? Because that's something that might pique my interest for the remaining 60 years of my life.

And, according to Radar Online, Phelps may also have some interest in women who are paid to take their clothes off doing just that.

Radar Staff Writer Neel Shah spent the evening in Las Vegas (more on that later), and was kind enough to send along these fine photos of Olympic hero Michael Phelps "massively skeeving on girls at the Playboy Club" in that city's Palms Casino. Neel notes that the Olympian was accompanied by an entourage of striped-shirted schmucks, one of whose sole duties appeared to be pointing a flashlight at anyone attempting to photograph the swimmer during his efforts to obtain a gold medal in ass-grabbing. ("It was unreal," says Neel. "Within moments of entering the club he summoned two girls over... I've never seen such an aggressive grip.")

Sure, it's a little creepy that he's so over the top gropy and what not, but come on; dude is rich and famous beyond his imagination.

Have you ever heard him talk about his social life and its non-existence based solely on the fact that he swims five miles a day and needs about four hours just to pound 12,000 calories?

The guy is dedicated enough to kill off 90% of the things he enjoys just to train so our freaking country can continue its worldwide athletic domination; if he wants to take a year and spend all 365 days in a strip club fondling Playmates before getting back on the exercise wagon, well, I'm all for that.

Since it's September, that means it's a time of panic in Chicago. Cubs fans are dealing with a five-game losing streak, and the thoughts of another late season collapse have entered their fragile psyches. Evidence of this can be seen in the fan's reactions to the recent fears that Carlos Zambrano might be lost for the year.

Well, while that fear has been put to bed, there's another one that's all ready to take it's place. Except this time, it's located on the south side of the city. White Sox fans are preparing for the worst as it's looking like the team may lose Carlos Quentin for the rest of the season.

Carlos Quentin's season appears to be in jeopardy after the White Sox received MRI results on his injured right forearm and wrist Friday morning, according to sources close to the situation.

It's unclear how he suffered the injury, but he was a late scratch Monday and hasn't played since.

This would obviously be horrible news for the White Sox. In a season that has seen a lot more downs than ups offensively, Quentin has been the lone constant in the White Sox lineup. He's gone from somebody nobody in Chicago had ever heard of, to being a legit AL MVP candidate.

To lose him now would be a devastating blow in the team's battle with the Twins. Now, if you don't mind me, I'm going to go get a head start on my drinking this weekend.